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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an frequently fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies going for someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks validate your decision to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that immediately shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {